I’ve always complained about the anti-piracy assault that you get from most DVDs and Blurays. Think about it: I’ve just paid for a legitimate copy of your movie, and you spend the first few minutes berating me for being a dirty pirate. So the start of Universal’s Kick Ass Bluray is a very pleasant surprise. There’s a couple of short disclaimers, then a big giant THANK YOU drops onto the screen, with a voiceover saying something along the lines of “By purchasing this movie, you are helping to support your local film and television industry. Thank you!”. I’m not sure if this is a universal feature of Universal Bluray, but big-ups for doing it right.

The film itself? I’ve never been a comic reader, nor heard anything about Kick Ass before the movie came out. I come at the movie with no background whatsoever. It was fun. It stands alone as a quirky action movie with a fairly standard hero/villain storyline, but plenty of silliness to have you chuckling.

There’s been some controversy around the Hit-Girl character, drawn as a young girl in the original comics, and played by a 12 year old actor in the movie. I reckon it’s all a bit overblown. Hit-Girl is awesome – a tiny girl who can kick some serious ass. The movie is R18, so it’s not like a 12 year old is going to watch the movie then go out and buy some double-ended knives.

I also liked Nicolas Cage, hilariously overacting a Nolanesque Batman character. Again, a polarising performance which I personally loved but you might find grating.

The way I tend to rate movies is by the number of times I look at my watch during the movie. Watching Kick Ass on Bluray with full HD and surround sound, I didn’t check once. It was great!

Click the image below to see the video:

First winner is the Lego Milestone. I just giggled all the way through this video. It captures the gadget “unboxing” meme perfecly, with references to jokes like the iPhone reception issue. Then the exact weight just tops it off. Seriously, watch the whole thing:

And the second winner is this incredible model. I can’t imagine the time that went into it. I’ll forgive the scales because apparently they only measure in twos, but even if they don’t it’s so close as to be negligible. Top stuff!

And a couple of VERY honourable mentions. If I had more Milestones these guys would get one. There’s one thing that I think lets the first video down – the jump-cut before the blender is turned on. Fantastic video though, and yes I’ll dig something else out of the prize cupboard for this chap!

And look! Here’s a knitted, dissected rat, mounted on a corkboard, and weighed on an incredibly accurate scientific balance:

And here’s the rest of the entries – like I say you’re all awesome!

… and a video.

Hi. I have a few questions re. iphone 4

Do you have to run it on an iphone plan or can I just use my existing VF plan?

I’m thinking of purching an iphone 4 from the Apple website, thinking it’s possibly faster than waiting for them to come into stores. What happens with the micro sims, though? You need a micro to run an iphone 4, right? Are they readily availible in VF stores, or do they only come in when the phones come in? In which case, I might as well wait and get one from a store. Your thoughts, please? Thanks.

Despite what Apple would like you to think, the iPhone is just a phone, like every other phone you can buy from a shop or direct from Vodafone. It has a SIM slot, and Vodafone has absolutely no control over what piece of plastic you decide to put in that SIM slot.

So yes, you can use your existing plan. And yes, you can buy an iPhone 4 directly from Apple, then go into a Vodafone store and ask for a micro SIM. I’m pretty sure they have a lot more micro SIMs available than they do iPhones. You should have no issue getting one, but they might charge you a small fee for the pleasure.

If you’re keen to avoid that fee, you can even just chop up your existing SIM card so it fits in the slot on your phone. It’s cheap and fun, and I’ve done it myself with complete success. If you fail, just take the chopped card into a Vodafone store and ask for a replacement micro SIM.

One thing to check before you decide to use your existing plan with an iPhone: what will data cost you? You don’t have to use data when you’re using an iPhone, but it’s a heck of a lot more fun to use when you don’t have to worry so much about downloads. And while Vodafone’s billing system is broken, their iPhone plans have 3GB per month bonus data. It was meant to end this time last year, but is still going.

Given the incredible quality of the prize, I’m not going to make it easy. I’m pretty desperate to keep one of these for myself, so if the entry quality isn’t up to scratch, then I’m not going to let the second one go. Don’t let me down.

Here’s how we’re going to run it. The phone weighs 165 grams, which is one of the heavier phones I’ve seen. I jokingly call it the millstone. So, you have two options: send me a photo of something that weighs exactly* 165 grams, AND/OR send me a photo of a really funny “millstone” sight-gag.

One entry per person for both. So yes, you can enter twice if you send a photo of something that weighs 165 grams AND a stupid millstone joke. Videos are cool too if you roll that way, and will likely get extra points for difficulty. Don’t send me 200MB video files; use Vimeo or something.

Then, next Sunday (29th August), I’ll pick the two most interesting or hilarious entries and post them up (along with all other entries so you can argue about my judgement). If you need a point of reference for how this ends up looking, check Gizmodo’s photoshop contests (but I’m looking for non-shopped photos).

Cool?

Here’s the stuff to stop foreigners and dumb people entering:

• Send entries to milestone@ben.geek.nz with the subject “Milestone”.
• One or two emails per entry (if you’re entering both options, you can send in a single or separate emails, just don’t enter multiple times).
• Entries limited to New Zealand residents only (sorry guys, the postage will kill me).
• The items are brand new, but may have been opened and reviewed for this website and TVNZ.
• Entries close Sunday 29 August 2010 at 5:00pm (NZ time).
• Winners will be contacted by email.
• If winners don’t respond within 1 week, the prize is forfeited.

And no, I won’t keep or spam your email address, and you retain all the copyrighty stuff to your images and videos. IANAL. I’m also not a lawyer.

*I’m not going to ask for proof of scale calibration, but I’m not going to just take any old weight. Use your imagination. Borrow some digital scales from your neighbourhood P lab, or video yourself measuring those 50g division lines on a pack of butter. I know Giapo Gelato on Queen Street has digital scales that he’ll probably let you use for a second if you tell him why.

The main “gotcha” is that even if you pay for data, you might not be able to use it. If you “buy” 512MB from Vodafone or 2Degrees, for example, and don’t use it all within 30 days, you effectively lose the remainder. Telecom does a little better with their optional capped data plans, but you have to know about these to use them, and your prepaid credit still expires after six months. The overall effect is that I can’t be sure that my device will work when I want to use it.

Secondly, if I have multiple devices that use data (a smartphone, a data stick, and an iPad), there’s no way to share the data allowance between these devices. I either need three sim cards, or I have to swap sims between the devices before I use them.

Gripes aside, what can you get from each of the main mobile networks?

General Gotchas and Questions to Ask

There’s really no way to say which network is “best” for your data device, but there are some questions you should ask before choosing a network.

• Make sure you ask if your device can use 3G data over the entire network. The Apple iPad, for example, doesn’t get great 3G coverage on Vodafone’s network outside of main centres. It still works, but at a snail’s pace.
• Can you top-up your data from the device if you’ve run out? Devices like the iPad can’t send SMS messages, but 2Degrees have a nifty method for doing this. Otherwise can you call an 0800 number or similar to top-up?
• If you also want to use the device for calls and text messaging, you’ll need to look into add-ons and allowances for these, and check if your friends are on the same network to get cheaper txt packs.

In Closing

Look, I could go on for days about the shortcomings of individual networks, plans and protocols, but truthfully it’s fantastic that we can turn on a device pretty much anywhere in New Zealand and connect to the internet. You can check-in to your MyFace and twatterbleep from just about anywhere. We’ve come a long way baby.

Jon appeals to my pacifist side:

If I am ever caught in a situation where fighting is an option, I take all my clothes off.Nobody wants to fight a naked guy.

And Richard says … well, just read it:

In 2006 I got jumped by a surprise dose of StageIV lymphoma, I kicked it’s ass and 4 years later still live to tell the tale.

Congrats! I haven’t actually received the Bluray discs from Universal yet, but will ship them as soon as I do.

Downside is Vodafone’s rather silly data usage scenarios. If you use more than your limit, you can “double your data”, or be throttled to 64kbps. You can only double your data once a month. So if you’re like me and use a little bit more than 60GB per month, then you’ll always be throttled for some of the month. This makes it a complete fail for me at the moment, but you might have more luck.

Here’s the guts (in a horrible screen-cap of a horrible MS Word formatted email table):

* Vodafone’s discounted naked broadband pricing is available when naked broadband is linked to a Vodafone on account mobile calling or Home Phone Wireless plan, which you pay for or an employer pays for. Prepay, mobile broadband, data, TXT only and Free2Call plans are not eligible for the discounted naked broadband price.

[1] Vodafone’s naked broadband plans are not available at rural telephone exchange areas. Check your address at vodafone.co.nz to see if you are eligible.

[2] To access SKY High Definition content you will need a High Definition capable TV, a High Definition access ticket for a cost of $10 per month, and subscribe to SKY Basic, SKY Sport and/or SKY Movies. Offer applies to each eligible Vodafone fixed line account, not per SKY box.

The Phones

There are a couple of “new” Android phones being marketed by the carriers in recent months. Neither of them are actually new new – they’ve both been release in other markets for months.

The Nexus One is Google’s “official” Android phone (despite the fact that they’ve stopped selling it directly). It feels wonderful in the hand, with a good weight and nice rounded aluminium edges. It runs Android 2.2 incredibly quickly, with the only noticeable waits when making significant changes like turning on WiFi. The touch screen is less sensitive than I’m used to with an iPhone. In many cases I have to press again where a tap didn’t register, but perhaps this is only because I’m used to the feather-light touch of the other phone.

The Motorola Milestone is a chunky beast coming from Telecom. At 165 grams it is by far the heaviest phone I’ve handled lately, but it’s not all bad. The build quality is great, and that weight feels more like a well-built machine rather than a pointless brick. Styling is trapezoidal, and I’m genuinely not trying to be sexist when I say it looks like a man’s phone.

The Milestone has a side-sliding full Qwerty keyboard, which would be great for people who send a lot of messages, but it is a bit fiddly to use. Personally I think you’d be better off experimenting with the various different custom keyboards on Android to find the one that works best.

Psst, watch this space. I’ve got two Milestones from Telecom to give away in the coming weeks.

Then there’s a couple of other phones that don’t have any release dates. The one that stood out for me was the Samsung Galaxy S. Incredible 4″ OLED screen, amazingly light, and very responsive. Fingers crossed Vodafone puts this one on the market soon.

The Nice Bits

Here’s some stuff you might like about Android.

Install anything. This is really fantastic. If someone has written some code that is able to run on your phone, you can install it. Either via the Android Market, or via a direct download (once you’ve changed a security setting to allow it). There’s nothing stopping you installing dialler apps, custom keyboards, fart machines, porn, or whatever else you want without big brother Steve looking over your shoulder.

Customisation. Do you like having more than just icons on your home screens? All Android operating systems allow you to customise your screens with “widgets”. Examples might include a weather forecast or Facebook updates form your friends. Right there at a glance, without having to open an app.

Phone choice. New Zealand carriers are finally waking up and providing some choice in Android smartphones. But even if you can’t get the phone you want from a carrier, you can bring in your own or check out a reseller like Parallel Imported, who have an extensive list of Android phones.

WiFi tethering. Brilliant, and perfectly implemented. Tick one box on the Nexus One (or most other phones with Android 2.2), and you have a wireless access point connected via the phone’s 3G connection. This means you can just slap your phone down and share your connection with friends, or with your PC, iPad, Nintendo DS, or any other wireless device.

The Faults

Just like the iPhone antenna fault, Android has a few issues of its own that you should be aware of. If you’re an Android fanboy feel free to just read this part of the article and then rant in the comments below.

Fault 1: I’m a nit-picker when it comes to user experience, so I hate the way that scrolling on Android devices is not butter-smooth like it is on the iPhone or Windows Phone 7. Note: scrolling on Android is probably better than any phone that existed prior to a few years ago, but today it’s just not up to scratch. What’s going on here? Is it a lack of hardware acceleration due to the varying specs of phones?

Fault 2: UI Inconsistency across phones. Yes, more nit-pickery. If for example I were to upgrade from an HTC Magic to a Samsung Galaxy S, thinking Android-to-Android would be a smooth migration, I think I’d be unpleasantly surprised. The Galaxy S makes some key changes to the core Android home screen experience. And the program screen layout – my god, why haven’t they been sued by Apple for incredibly blatant copying?

Fault 3: Poor upgrade support from OEMs, and OEM crapware bundled with phones. Android fanboys will argue that this isn’t the fault of Android. True, but non-geeks see the Sony Ericsson XPeria X10 as an Android phone. They don’t care if SE’s crapware is stopping the phone from being upgraded. They don’t care if the Droid X has a soft-lock on any other bootloaders. They wouldn’t know a “rooting” from casual sex. All of this reflects badly on Android.

Fault 4: Fragmented OS versions in the market mean some apps are unavailable for all phones. The new Tweetdeck application, for instance, only runs on Android 2.0 or greater. This means most owners of “official” Android phones in New Zealand (HTC Magic and Sony Ericsson X10) can’t run the application.

State of the Nation

The state of our nation is strong, if a bit outdated. The local carriers need to work harder to get updated phone models to market. 

If you’re a geek or a tweaker in any sense of the word, and you feel stifled by the iPhone’s lack of customisation, Android is your phone. If you’re a regular Joe who doesn’t like Apple’s locked-in business model, then Android is your phone too. If you don’t care about either of those things, then it’s really up to you to decide.

One thing I’ll say before you decide: make sure you do some research about Android OS upgrade availability and commitment from the manufacturer. The last thing you want is to be stuck with an out-of-date operating system on your phone. It’s a mixed bag, but Computerworld has a handy reference list of recent phones that might or might not be upgradeable to Android 2.2.

Click below for the video:

NB: You can get all of these phones either from a carrier like Vodafone or Telecom, or you can get them (usually a bit cheaper) from someone like Parallel Imported. Don’t be too concerned about warranty: Parallel Imported are required by law to provide a 1 year warranty.